Being an FA Teenager

I have shared with you some fantasies that I had in my middle school years.

Even though I had these fantasies I did not fully understand what I was attracted to.

I was what you could call a late bloomer. I was a shy nerdy kid that was into Science Fiction and Fantasy. During High School I had other priorities than dating. I also was not the most "popular" guy in school and thus I tended to keep a low profile.

I will tell you a funny story. For Homecoming in my junior year I worked up the courage to ask a girl out. I was so nervous after I picked her up to take her to dinner that I ran a red light.

Another one of my stellar smooth moves was to invite a girl to go horseback riding with me. We got the horses saddled up and were ready to go. Half way through our trailride I was starting to not feel so good. I dismounted, handed my rains to my companion and proceeded to puke into a nearby bush.

One of the things about being an FA is this disconnect between Women that you find sexually attractive and women that you find attractive but you don't desire sexually. Maybe It's just a way of saying that's nice but it's not my thing. Come back if you gain 100-200lbs. Those girls that I went out on a date with were in the second category. I thought they were cute just not objects of desire for me.

One girl that I found desirable was one of my brother's friends. For the sake of anonymity let's say her name was Cindy. As I remember she was probably what I would consider a midsize BBW, probably around 300lbs. She had a beautiful face, she was pearshaped and she carried herself with style and a zest for life. Sometimes she would come over to the house and I would always steal covert lustful glances. Wow, she was beautiful.

During this time I realized the difference between me and most regular guys. The girls that I was the most attracted to were the girls that most guys avoided. There was one girl in particular that was fat who was on the cheerleading squad. Most of the boys in highschool teased her horribly. I wish I could say that I argued with them and defended this beauty. Unfortunately I was a nerd and did not want to draw the "cool people"'s hostility in my direction.

I went to my Junior Prom by myself. My school was fairly old fashioned, for prom everyone had dance cards. The dance cards were a really good idea even though most people grumbled about them. Everyone got to dance with somebody and there were no wallflowers who did not get "chosen." One of the girls that was on my card was an exchange student from somewhere in South America. She was a BBW who probably only weighed in the low 200lb range. I was dancing with her with my hands on her large beautiful hips. I was dancing with her when I realized that she was what I was attracted to, not the skinny model of beauty.

So, Did I ask my dance partner to go out to a movie or invite her on a date?

No Way! I was still too shy around women to even think of doing that.

You see why I didn't date anyone in high school don't you.

:)