Being an FA Teenager

I have shared with you some fantasies that I had in my middle school years.

Even though I had these fantasies I did not fully understand what I was attracted to.

I was what you could call a late bloomer. I was a shy nerdy kid that was into Science Fiction and Fantasy. During High School I had other priorities than dating. I also was not the most "popular" guy in school and thus I tended to keep a low profile.

I will tell you a funny story. For Homecoming in my junior year I worked up the courage to ask a girl out. I was so nervous after I picked her up to take her to dinner that I ran a red light.

Another one of my stellar smooth moves was to invite a girl to go horseback riding with me. We got the horses saddled up and were ready to go. Half way through our trailride I was starting to not feel so good. I dismounted, handed my rains to my companion and proceeded to puke into a nearby bush.

One of the things about being an FA is this disconnect between Women that you find sexually attractive and women that you find attractive but you don't desire sexually. Maybe It's just a way of saying that's nice but it's not my thing. Come back if you gain 100-200lbs. Those girls that I went out on a date with were in the second category. I thought they were cute just not objects of desire for me.

One girl that I found desirable was one of my brother's friends. For the sake of anonymity let's say her name was Cindy. As I remember she was probably what I would consider a midsize BBW, probably around 300lbs. She had a beautiful face, she was pearshaped and she carried herself with style and a zest for life. Sometimes she would come over to the house and I would always steal covert lustful glances. Wow, she was beautiful.

During this time I realized the difference between me and most regular guys. The girls that I was the most attracted to were the girls that most guys avoided. There was one girl in particular that was fat who was on the cheerleading squad. Most of the boys in highschool teased her horribly. I wish I could say that I argued with them and defended this beauty. Unfortunately I was a nerd and did not want to draw the "cool people"'s hostility in my direction.

I went to my Junior Prom by myself. My school was fairly old fashioned, for prom everyone had dance cards. The dance cards were a really good idea even though most people grumbled about them. Everyone got to dance with somebody and there were no wallflowers who did not get "chosen." One of the girls that was on my card was an exchange student from somewhere in South America. She was a BBW who probably only weighed in the low 200lb range. I was dancing with her with my hands on her large beautiful hips. I was dancing with her when I realized that she was what I was attracted to, not the skinny model of beauty.

So, Did I ask my dance partner to go out to a movie or invite her on a date?

No Way! I was still too shy around women to even think of doing that.

You see why I didn't date anyone in high school don't you.

:)

BBW Neighbor Fantasy

This fantasy was one that I had in my middle school years.

We occasionally had assemblies in my middle school where we would watch movies. Usually towards the end of the school year.

The movie starts out with a bunch of kid's in P.E. class running down the street. Following the rest of the pack there is a beautiful fat girl struggling to keep up. She finally quits running and turns off a side street to drown her sorrows in a large milkshake at one of her favorite hangouts.

In the movie her Mom and Dad both work and are not often home. She basically raises herself and raids the fridge whenever she wants. Now in the movie she starts to diet and exercises more, improves her self esteem and gets the guy.

In my Fantasy I am her next door neighbor. When her parents are away I come over with the most tempting treats for my beautiful neighbor. I bring her gallons of ice cream, cakes and cookies.

I tell her that she is beautiful as she is and to enjoy her appetites. She agrees to not fight her hunger and she gains weight as we both fall more in love with each other.

I would have it no other way.

If I was given the choice to be an FA or like thin models like everybody else there is no doubt I would choose to be an FA.

Being an FA has been a wonderful gift I have been given in my life.

That being said it was a journey to come to understand myself. Growing up there was no internet. I did not know that there were any other people who shared the same desire's I did. I thought I was this lone freak.

I was scared of anyone knowing that I liked fat women. Not because I was ashamed to be seen with one. No, that did not bother me at all. No, what scared me is that people would realize I was different. That freaked me out in my teenage years.

Once I graduated from college I worked everything out in my mind. Finding Dimensions helped. At that point I decided that I would only date BBW's.

FA Slave Fantasy

Why is Fantasy so important to a budding FA. Well at the time I was growing up in, in the early 80's there was no internet. There was no way to see what I desired so I created it up in my mind.

I did not have any inkling that other people were attracted to Fat Women until I read the opening sex scene in Spider Robinson's Callahan's Secret. That was the first time that I had the idea that I was not alone with my desire's in the universe.

So Fantasy is important to an FA of my generation. Heck I would scrounge through my mom's Weight Watcher magazine so I could just look at the Before and After pictures in the back. Always mentally reversing the order in my mind.

The FA Slave Fantasy I had was again inspired by some cheesy television show. A bad B movie they used during a telethon in fact. The Movie was a Sci-Fi show. The movie depicted a culture where women were dominant and men served them as slaves. The women did use drugs on the men to keep them weak and pliable.

In my fantasy the women's society had two layers. Layer one was the leadership of the society. Fat was very desirable. The Fatter you were the more status one had within this society. These women were carried around in cushioned litters by the male slaves, their every whim and hunger catered to. The second level of the women's society were the amazon's who kept the men in line. They had sufficient power within the society and I really never cared about them. But oooo how beautiful the first group was.

In my fantasy I was purchased by a very powerful ssbbw as a gift for her daughter. So I joined the house of the daughter as a household slave who could cook and do various household jobs. I was also purchased to be the daughter's little sex toy.

In this fantasy I would guess the beautiful daughter was about 400lbs. She would come to me seductively and ask me, "Am I beautiful?" The first few times she would ask me and I would say "No!". Then she would have me taken out and beaten.

Then finally she would ask me again, " Am I beautiful?" I would answer what I had always really felt, "Yes you are beautiful! You are beautiful! You are beautiful!

Then she would have me gathered up and taken to her bower. There she would lay right next to me with her soft body flowing next to mine. We would face each other with her staring into my eyes. Then she would have food brought. She would have me feed her the most delectible fattening sweet morsels and she would feed me.

"Am I beautiful?"

"Yes you are?"

After this constant feeding and lovemaking my master would grow into a cushiony 500lb beauty and I would also get quite fat. Something she would tease me about during our feeding/lovemaking sessions.

First FA Memories

I am really reaching back in the memory banks for these memories folks.

Just in case your curious about the whole nature vs. nurture thing I can tell you that there were no fat people in my family. So I did not become an FA because I had a fat mother or something along that line.

When I was young, definatly before I hit puberty I was always drawn to fat women. I remember we used to go to a 4th of July party. There was a girl there who was a BBW and I was entranced by her. It was not even anything sexual. I just really liked something about fat girls.

In third grade in the small private school where I attended there was an older girl who would help the teacher. She was about four grades older than I was. I had a crush on her so badly. I would follow her around like a little lost puppy. She was the one I have to thank for turning me on to Science Fiction. She told me to read A Wrinkle in Time.

When I entered puberty I started to have a few FA fantasies.

One of the first Fantasies I started to have was about what I would call Fat Town. This Fantasy was kicked off by some kid's show I saw on television. On the TV show there was a circus, with a Fat Lady. They showed a picture of this fat lady stuffing her face with cakes, pies and goodies so she would be fat enough for the circus. That picture was indelibly fixed in my mind and it started one of my first FA fantasies.

This Fantasy actually started off as a dream. In my dream I and my family were moving into a new town, Fat Town. In Fat Town you had to be as fat as you could possibly be, because I and my family were not Fat enough we had to gain weight in order to live there. In my dream I remember being in front of a table loaded with all kinds of fattening foods, especially every kind of yummy desert you could imagine. I would eat and eat as much as I could and eventually I would be fat enough to live in Fat Town with all the other circus Fat people. As an initiation ceremony they put the largest cake in front of you that the town baker could posibly make. As part of joining Fat Town you have to eat every bite of this collosal cake. When you finished all bloated, covered with icing and crumbs the townspeople cheer and welcome you as one of their own. This started out as a dream but it was one of my favorite fantasies I relived over and over again.

This post is getting kind of long so I will continue writing about my beginning FA fantasies in another post.

I'm an FA!

What is an FA?

An FA is a Fat Admirer. Basically an FA is anyone who prefers a partner who is Fat. Women that turn FA's on are anywhere from a size 14- on up. Some FA's prefer smaller women who are generally called "plumpers" Anywhere from 150lbs to 250lbs. Some FA's prefer women who are mid size from 250lbs to 350lbs. And some FA's like Fat women who are 350lbs to 500lbs. There are also some FA's that like Fat Women above 500lbs.

I was listening to a radio show this morning and the Host made a very good point. His point was that you should not be defined by your sexuality. I really agree with this because it is just one part of my life and It is not the most important part. I don't introduce myself to people "Hello I like Fat Women nice to meet you."

That being said it is an aspect of who I am.

I don't know how open I should be with people about my preference in women. I have been married to a wonderful lady who happens to be fat for six years now. I think most people get a vibe and get a clue.

I know a few of my friends know that I only like Fat Women. Most people's reaction is "So?" or " I kind of figured that out."

That being said, there are some things that I do want to Blog about. One of them is how I first understood I liked fat women. I want to talk about how it felt growing up not being attracted at all to female sex symbols. For a while I thought I was Gay. But then I realized that men sure as heck did not turn me on.

A supermodel could be standing right in front of me and I would have Zero desire for her. But that waitress packing away the breadsticks at the back of my favorite Italian restaurant would make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Over the course of this Blog I am sure I will use the term BBW. It means Big Beautiful Woman.